Guns
100s of Mass Shootings Later, Conservatives Finally Find a ‘Good Guy With a Gun’
Conservatives across America rejoiced with unparalleled delight on Sunday, July 17, 2022, after an armed civilian stopped a mass shooter from…
Author
The Sarcastic Republican
I satirize Republican/Right-Wing politics using an ample amount of sarcasm. If you're a Republican, don't read my stuff. You will be triggered.
Pop Culture
Millions of Karens Across the Globe Demand to Speak With Facebook’s Manager
Karens across the planet joined forces earlier on Monday in a spectacular display of solidarity that womankind has never witnessed. The modern-day…
Politics
Conservatives Upset That AOC Promotes Taxing the Rich at a Rich-Person Event
Conservatives across the country expressed intense fury at AOC for promoting her "Tax the Rich" policy at an event* filled with...rich people. "Why…
Politics
And Just Like That, Republicans Miraculously Start Believing Women and Condemn Gov. Cuomo
TW: Sexual Assault Republicans across the country have collectively decided to break rank with their party's de facto policy of siding with sexual…
Politics
[EXPOSED] Instead of Giving Vague Answers, Biden References Note Cards to Provide Details
I feel so angry and humiliated on behalf of our great nation. New photos reveal that President Biden referenced note cards while holding his first…
Thought Experiments
What if people were armed when they went grocery shopping?
Adam, Bob, Catherine, Danielle, Esther, and Frank are grocery shopping in isle #4. They live in an open-carry state and they are all armed.No one is…
Politics
Biden: Trump Shouldn’t Get Intelligence Briefings; Trump: Joke’s on You, I Never Read Those Anyways
Contrary to how Joe Biden thought his opinion would be received, former president Donald J. Trump has completely embraced Biden's desire to not share…
Elections
Giuliani Puzzled as to Why His Lies About Voter Fraud Turned Into a $1.3 Billion Defamation Lawsuit
Dominion Voting Systems has sued Rudy Giuliani in a $1.3 Billion defamation lawsuit for carrying out "a viral disinformation campaign." "I never…
Politics
In Harsh Repudiation of Trump, Biden Decides to Tweet in Full Sentences Without Spelling Errors
In the first few days of assuming a new office, the new President of the United States often signs and puts into motion several executive actions –…
Politics
Franklin Graham Compares Trump to Jesus Christ and I Wholeheartedly Agree With That Assessment
"It makes you wonder what the thirty pieces of silver were that Speaker Pelosi promised for this betrayal," wrote Franklin Graham in a Facebook post…
Elections
Trump: ‘Just Let me Incite Riots and an Insurrection in Peace. Stop Impeaching me, Democrats’
The US House of Representatives voted in a bipartisan move to impeach Donald J. Trump on January 13, 2021. Since then, Trump finally made a statement…
Elections
Trump Supporters Celebrate Yet Another Victory for the President – Two Impeachments in One Term
In a historic event to take place in the United States of America, a President has been impeached not once – but twice in one term. We had one of our…
Economy
I Interviewed Mack Porsey, CEO of Fwitter About the Censorship of ‘Conservative’ Views
Fwitter has been under fire lately, owing to concerns over the censorship of conservative viewpoints and opinions. I, The Sarcastic Republican, was…
Elections
Evangelical Pastors Who Prophesied That Donald Trump Would Win Re-election Say They Made a ‘Typo’
Before the 2020 general election in November, dozens of evangelical pastors across America prophesied that Trump would win re-election. "The Lord…
BLM
Republicans Storming Capitol Hill Don’t Need Bullet-proof Vests; Whiteness Offers Enough Protection
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Many with eyes glued to the TV right now are wondering the same thing, "How can these Trump supporters breach Capitol Hill, defy…
Elections
Weather Channels Warn of Imminent Floods as Millions of Gallons of Conservative Tears are Unleashed
ATLANTA, GA — Weather channels across the United States warn Americans of imminent flash floods, owing to a release of conservative tears following…
Thought Experiments
Should One Condemn Athletes Use Their Platforms to Make Political Opinions?
The year is 2063 and Democrats control the Presidency, both chambers of Congress, and have a majority of SCOTUS seats. They implement policy that…
Elections
Trump Plays ‘I Spy’ With Georgia Officials; However, Officials Cannot Find 11,787 ‘MAGA Votes’
On a call with Georgia officials last Saturday, the President of the United States of America, Donald J. Trump challenged Georgia's Republican…
Politics
Nashville Bomber Cannot Possibly be a Terrorist Because He Lacks the Necessary Melanin Levels
America can breathe a sigh of relief. Anthony Quinn Warner, the 63-year-old Nashville bomber, is white. Therefore, it can be concluded, beyond the…
Covid-19
Republican McConnell Blocks $2,000 Covid-19 Checks. It’s Still the Democrats’ Fault and Here’s Why
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Thought Experiments
Can Words Hurt People? Does Having Privilege Change One’s Answer?
John is a high school student with a disability. He was born paralyzed from the waist down. In school, bullies would constantly make fun of John,…
Elections
New Study Finds That Donald J. Trump Would Have Won the Election if More People Voted for Him
A groundbreaking study conducted by the finest research institutions in the United States of America has concluded that Donald J. Trump – 45th…
Thought Experiments
An Analogy to the Covid-19 Pandemic
The year is 2213 and MAGIC, similar to that conceptualized in popular movies from the 2000s, has been invented. Pakistan is the leading nation of…
Thought Experiments
The Classic Asteroid Dilemma!
Here's a moral dilemma question I was asked back in the day... A bigly asteroid is headed towards earth. Based on its current trajectory, scientists…
Thought Experiments
John, Jimmy, Peter, and a Hammer
John has a younger brother named Jimmy, someone that he's very close with. John also has younger cousin named Peter who he's not close with. One fine…
Thought Experiments
Is it Okay for you Cancel Someone for Holding Different ‘Political’ Views?
Let's rewind a few decades to the early 1960s. John is white man working in South Carolina. Dameon is a black man working for the same employer. John…
Thought Experiments
What if LGBTQ+ Discrimination Led to Increased Profits?
Imagine you're the CEO of the largest nightclub in Houston, TX. Currently, your club serves people of all races, religions, and sexual orientations.…
Elections
Republicans Accuse Fly of Partisanship; Fly Argues, “I Was Simply Checking out Some Fresh BS.”
After a fly decided to briefly set camp on Vice President Mike Pence's head during the Vice Presidential debate against Senator Kamala Harris, Senate…
Elections
BREAKING: President Donald Trump Tests Positive for Covid-19 (No, This is not Sarcasm)
For the first time in the brief history of The Sarcastic Republican publication, I am NOT being sarcastic. President Donald J. Trump and First Lady…
Elections
Trump/Biden Collusion: Accusing the Other of Sexual Assault is Mutually Assured Destruction
Mutually assured destruction (MAD) is a military strategy that essentially dictates, "If you do X, I will do Y, and then we're both equally screwed…
Elections
2020 Presidential Debates: Joe Biden is Reportedly Very Happy That The Bar Was Set So Low
Sources close to the Biden/Harris campaign disclosed that Joe Biden – the Democratic Presidential nominee – is very happy that the bar was set very…
BLM
Here are 5 (Peaceful) Ways Black Lives Matter Could Have Protested Before Becoming Violent
I am a Republican who firmly believes that the Black Lives Matter is a violent organization. I hate what’s been happening with these ‘protests’ and…
Libertarianism
Democratic & Republican Study Finds That Suppressing 3rd Party Votes is Healthy For America
An analysis conducted by the Department of Liberty has concluded that suppressing 3rd party votes is healthy for American democracy. Contrary to…
BLM
Kenneth Walker Should Have Risked Getting Shot First Before Defending a Home Invasion
I am a Republican who firmly believes in an American's right to bear arms. Moreover, I support every American's right to defend themselves and their…
Elections
2016 SCOTUS Precedent Should not Apply in 2020 Because Republicans are Entitled to Flip-Flops
I am a Republican who firmly believes that a Supreme Court Justice should not be replaced during an election year, as was the precedent established…
Thought Experiments
Should There be Some Gun Control?
Part 1/3 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: "Gun control laws are pointless because bad actors will always find ways to obtain…
Elections
Fiscally Conservative Trump Saves Taxpayers $1.6MM While Only Spending $134MM On Golfing
I am a Republican who applauds Trump's decision to not accept the $400,000/year Presidential salary, saving us taxpayers a total of $1.6 Million.…
Elections
Democracy is Good Only if it Benefits my Political Party | Yes, I am Being 100% Serious
I am a Republican who believes in democracy. I want the PEOPLE to have the greatest possible opportunity to cast their vote to select our nation's…
Elections
Trump’s Immediate Remarks Following The 9/11 Terrorist Attacks Are Filled With Compassion & Respect
I am a Republican who firmly believes that the 9/11 terrorist attack was one of the worst tragedies our country has had to endure. Consequently, the…
BLM
I Proudly Support The #AllLegsMatter Movement And So Should You If You Care About Justice
I am a Republican who believes in the #AllLegsMatter movement. All legs do and should, as a matter of principle, matter. In the situation depicted in…
Elections
The Constitutionally Protected Right To Burn The American Flags Shouldn’t Apply to Liberals
I am a Republican who firmly believes in the Constitutionally-protected right of free speech. Only a tyrant would dare attempt to take this away from…
BLM
Rosa Parks Protested The Wrong Way And Set a Terrible Example For Our Nation’s Innocent Children
I am a Republican who firmly believes that any person who breaks the law deserves to go to jail, especially when it comes to illegally protesting…
Politics
All Those Against #BLM Must Condemn Jesus Christ For Violently Protesting Back in the Day
I am a Christian Republican who cares about private property rights. This is why I, along with my Republican friends and family members, would like…
BLM
The 4th & 5th Amendments (Due Process) Shouldn’t Apply To Those Who Protest Against Racism
I am a Republican who fiercely believes in an American's right to due process under the 4th and 5th Amendments in our Constitution. This is precisely…
Covid-19
Donald J. Trump is a Bigly Man of Science, Unlike the Democrats | Wear a Mask
I am a Republican who understands the importance of wearing a mask in order to *reduce* the transmission rate of airborne illnesses, such as…
BLM
Confederate Gen. Williams Carter Wickham Will Permanently Be Erased From American History
I am a Republican who cares about preserving history. It should NEVER be erased. As an American, I have the right to know and learn about the various…
Economy
Evidence Shows That Black Americans Purposefully Want To Make Less Money Than White Americans
I am a Republican who believes in facts and numbers; this is why I firmly believe that 'systemic racism' is a total hoax, a fabrication of the left…