Karens across the planet joined forces earlier on Monday in a spectacular display of solidarity that womankind has never witnessed.
The modern-day Karen has three primary functions: 1) Using their mobile phone to call the police on unsuspecting black men, 2) Demanding to speak to a manager at a physical business after verbally abusing an employee, and 3) Sharing their stories of unparalleled ‘bravery‘ with their fellow Karens via Facebook status updates.
You see, Karens function very similarly to Captain Planet – in the sense that Captain Planet cannot exist without the five elements, a Karen cannot exist in all her glory unless she has unfettered access to her three tools of wreaking havoc. On Monday, Facebook experienced technical difficulties and went offline, rendering Karens incapable of venting to their friends.
“This is an outrage,” exclaimed one Karen who I had the… pleasure of interviewing. “Earlier today, I saw a Black man walking around in MY neighborhood. I need to warn my neighbors, but I can’t because my Facebook doesn’t work. This is clearly a life-or-death situation. I need to speak with Facebook’s manager, that Zuck guy or whatever his name is, but I can’t seem to find a customer service number anywhere.”
Suffice to say, even if only for a brief period of time, the world benefited in not having to endure reading Karens’ Facebook status updates.
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If you enjoy discussing politics, I want to invite you to join my Facebook group – Civil Political Discourse. Facebook interviewed me personally back in October, 2020, and commended me for being able to host and facilitate healthy, political conversations. My group is sorely lacking a robust Democratic/Progressive presence, so if you fall on the left side of the isle, I doubly encourage you to join.
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